I double dog dare ya

From a friend of a friend of a friend. It has been round the world a couple of times but I like to remember just the same.

Do you remember when . . .
All the girls had ugly gym uniforms? It took five minutes for the TV warm up? Nearly everyone’s Mom was at home when the kids got home from school? Nobody owned a purebred dog? When a quarter was a decent allowance? You’d reach into a muddy gutter for a penny? Your Mom wore nylons that came in two pieces? All your male teachers wore neckties and female teachers had their hair done every day and wore high heels? You got your windshield cleaned, oil checked, and gas pumped, without asking, all for free, every time? And you didn’t pay for air? And, you got trading stamps to boot? Laundry detergent had free glasses, dishes or towels hidden inside the box? It was considered a great privilege to be taken out to dinner at a real restaurant with your parents? They threatened to keep kids back a grade if they failed . . . and they did?

How about when . . .
A 57 Chevy was everyone’s dream car . . . to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady? No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked? Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, “That cloud looks like a . . .” Playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game? Stuff from the store came without safety caps and hermetic seals because no one had yet tried to poison a perfect stranger? And with all our progress, don’t you just wish, just once, you could slip back in time and savor the  slower pace, and share it with the children of today? When being sent to the principal’s office was nothing compared to the fate that awaited the student at home? And Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Laurel and Hardy, Howdy Dowdy and the Peanut Gallery, the Lone Ranger, The Shadow Knows, Nellie Bell, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk. As well as summers filled with bike rides, baseball games, Hula Hoops, bowling and visits to the  pool, and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar.

How many of these do you remember?
Candy cigarettes, Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water inside, Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles, Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes, Blackjack, Clove and Teaberry chewing gum. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers, Newsreels before the movie, P.F. Fliers, Party lines (yes, we actually shared telephone lines with the neighbors!), Peashooters, Howdy Dowdy, 45 RPM records, Green Stamps, Hi-Fi’s, Metal ice cubes trays with levers, Mimeograph paper, Beanie and Cecil, Roller-skate keys, Cork pop guns, Drive ins, Studebakers, Washtub wringers, The Fuller Brush Man, Reel-To-Reel tape recorders, 15 cent McDonald hamburgers, 5 cent packs of baseball cards -with that awful pink slab of bubble gum, Penny candy, 35 cent a gallon gasoline.

Do you remember a time when . . .
Decisions were made by going “eeny-meeny-miney-moe”? Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, “Do Over!”? Catching the fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening? It wasn’t odd to have two or three “Best Friends”? Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot? Saturday morning cartoons weren’t 30-minute commercials for action figures? “Oly-oly-oxen-free” made perfect sense? Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles? The worst embarrassment was being picked last for a team? War was a card game? Baseball cards in the spokes transformed any bike into a motorcycle? Water balloons were the ultimate weapon?

If you can remember most or all of these, then you have lived! Pass this on to anyone who may need a break from their “grown-up” life.

I double-dog-dare-ya!

Fast things

Usually I like fast things. Cars, planes, boats but some idiot in Washington added fast to the radio. If you listen to a commercial at the end you will hear a blur of words, saying they aren’t responsible, the end of the world is coming – who know’s what they say. If it is there for our protection then slow it down. Apparently it isn’t important because you can’t understand it so let’s do away it.

Movie credits on TV are often the same, especially with TBS. Hey, I want to read the credits to see if I spot someone who owes me money. The TV mogels speed these by so they have more time for commercials. Stop it.